Neil Hester

All poems © Neil Hester unless otherwritten

Location: North Carolina, United States

Friday, December 28, 2007

A Crummy Excuse For a Post

...but a post, nonetheless. I've just been in sorry blogging form lately. Hopefully I can pick myself up soon. Anyhow, here's a semi-amusing survey (does a blog post get more pointless than this? Oh, wait, my last post was 3 words long). If you're lacking time (or interest), just skip down to the second #39 (there are two):


[one] Have you ever been asked out?

[two] Where was your default picture taken?
Snyder High School.

[Three] What is your middle name?
Oh, cool, the numbers are capitalized now!

Anyhow, ******. I don’t feel like divulging that information at this moment.

[Four] What is your current relationship status?
Oh, spongy and whatnot~ Or, perhaps, solitary.

[Five] Does your crush like you back?
I currently have no crush.

[Six] What is your current mood?
Curious, but indifferent.

[Seven] what color underwear are you wearing?
I refuse to check.

[Eight] What color shirt are you wearing?
Black, with a teench of white.

[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?

[Eleven] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
Any bird. Oh, to fly! [/attemptatsoundingmondopoetic]

[Twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
Well, Death and I have tea every Tuesday, so yes, I have, frequently.

[Thirteen] What is something you do a lot?
Pun about and whatnot.

[Fifteen] Who did you copy and paste this from?
Jordan (the one that makes knees weak and whatnot).

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Evanna Lynch.

[Seventeen] Last person you hugged??
Wow, why the urgency? Anyhow, Scottyscott!

[Eighteen] When was the last time you cried?
Oh, a few months ago.

[Nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
To end world hu... I mean, to fly. Cliche, but true. Note my emphatic desire to become a bird in a previous question.

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
General facial composition and level of intelligence.

[Twenty-one] What do you usually order from starbucks?
Iced coffee, hold the ice.

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?
Why, it’s my biggest secret!

This is a dumb question.

[Twenty-three] Favorite color(s)?
Blue, Black, and Green~

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
All the time. They make me feel fuzzy and innocent.

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Air, with a tinge of dignity.

[Twenty-eight] What's your favorite smell?
Earl grey tea bags. Well, the aroma of.

[Twenty-nine] Describe your life in one word, what would it be?

[Thirty-one] Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Well, you see, there was this one time, and...


[Thirty-two] What (or who) are you thinking about right now?
This survey. And next Saturday.

[Thirty-three] What should you be doing right now?
Oh, probably something productive... but really, do I care?

[Thirty-four] Who was the last person that made you angry?
Mm... I haven’t been angry in a really long time, so I’m not quite sure. I’m rarely depressed, and I’m angry even less often than I am depressed.

[Thirty-five] Why are you doing this right now?
Because someone is paying me to answer stale, often meaningless questions about myself in a vague and lackadaisical fashion.

Really, I have nothing better to do than to come up with occasionally sarcastic and, even more uncommonly, humorous responses to questions that enlighten few and concern one (that being me).

[Thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?

[Thirty-seven] If you could have any last name in the world, what would it be?
Karanko. Seriously, how cool is that name? Karanko... Karanko...

[Thirty-eight] What is your natural hair color?
Pink. Then I dyed it black, because I found my natural hair color to be rather distracting and occasionally hard to match with my clothing.

[Thirty-nine] Is the person u like hot?
Sure, why not? I’ve more or less fallen back into content bachelorship, so...

Also, I don’t understand this sudden switch in the spelling of “you”. Why “u” suddenly? Argh, my brain can’t handle it! Oh no! Noooooooooooooooaaaaahhhhhhhhh *goes into a seizure*

Just to clarify, I just smooshed (what a great word!) “no” and “ah” together. I do not yell “Noah!” when I freak out.

[Forty] When was the last time you lied?
Oh, it probably wasn’t that long ago. Now, as to whether or not it was a major lie, I cannot recall.

1. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Oh my, we’re back to number one! ...Oh, right, the question:

No. Some things happen for no reason at all; they merely happen because


I was going to type something deep and philosophical, but that’s as far as I got.

2. What color are your walls?

3. When is the last time you saw the last person you had feelings for?
A few days ago.

4. If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be?
Anyone with a parachute, so they could save themselves. I’m really not much for pushing people off of cliffs~

5. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Evans Orchestra!

6. Is anything bothering you right now?
Mm, not in particular. Y’know, a few little nagging things here and there, but I’m far better off than I was a week ago.

7. What's the weirdest thing you've ever heated up in a microwave?
Mm, a bar of soap, mayhaps?

8. What's your favorite thing to do in your free time?
Sit around coffee shops, talk to friends, and make miserable attempts at being cool.

9. When's the last time you kissed someone?
Well, I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek a couple hours ago =p

10. Are you a cuddler?
I think so. I haven’t ever been in a relationship, so it’s hard to say.

11. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

12. Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Sure~ It happens, y’know? It hasn’t happened for awhile, though, fortunately. Then again, I haven’t liked that many people in my lifetime (romantically, that is).

13. Have you ever seen a zebra?
Yes, and she was very pretty ^^

14. Would you ever date a celebrity?
Sure, if she were awfully lovely and kind.

16. Are you offended by dumb blonde jokes?
I’m a black-haired Filipino, but sure, why not? I have some blonde friends who are quite sharp, after all.

Really, I’m not offended by much of anything, so ~no.

17. Have you consumed alcohol recently?
Sure, yesterday. Yay for merlot (drinking it makes me seem sophisticated and whatnot~).

18. Have you ever taken a picture specifically for myspace?
Mm, not really~ I just sort of end up with pictures ^^

19. If you could go back and change something, would you?
You already asked this. Of course, this is two surveys spliced together, so it’s okay. Good job, survey- you managed to avoid being absurd!

20. What does your hair look like right now?
Like hair. Or like a weasel. Take your pick.

21. Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Yes, but there was no malicious intent; everything’s fine now.

22. Will next weekend be a good one?
Definitely, I’m very excited ^^

24. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
Well, My Neighbor Totoro is one of my favorite childhood movies, I wish I knew him (or her), and Corinna had a Totoro song playing on her profile for a short while, so...

25. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
I like expensive jewelry. That way I can pawn it.

27. Look to your left. What's there?

28. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Sure, who hasn’t?

30. What classes do you consider to be nap time?
All except Orchestra and Choir =p My philosophy this year- sleep less at home and more at school.

31. Do you get attached to people easily?

32. Why are you online?
‘Cause the internet is addicting and whatnot~

33. What happened a year ago today?
Beats the heck (among other things) out of me.

I’ve used that joke before, and it’s not even that funny. Darn.

34. have you ever been to florida?
Yes (though, I’m not sure you’re talking about the Florida I’m talking about, since yours lacks capitalization- I do hope we’re on the same page here [figuratively, that is- we are, undoubtedly, on the same page in a literal sense]).

35. Has a person you dated ever made you cry?
Yes. Oh, wait, one sec...

Neil tells me that, apparently, I’ve never dated anyone. So, no.

36. Ever driven without your license?
On multiple occasions.

37. What time did you wake up today?
Oh, 11’ish.

38. Are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Most definitely- Christmas Eve is almost always wonderful ^^

39. What's your favorite kind of desert?
My favorite kind of desert? Well, Antarctica is technically a desert, since a desert doesn’t have to be hot, it just has to lack precipitation. However, the Sahara’s kind of cool too (well, actually, it’s hot [though it does become strikingly cold at night], but let’s ignore that point and move on), so it definitely puts up a fight (or two). However, I’m going to qualify the entire planet of Venus as a desert (contrary to reality) and pick it instead, because Venus is the Roman goddess associated with love, beauty, and fertility, which is always a plus, since humans are hopelessly committed to an endless struggle to earn and maintain love, and they might as well attach (the ideal of) love to a fictional woman after whom a line of women’s swimwear, swimsuits, and clothing is named, a line that is, most likely, very nice but quite out of the average lady’s budget (though I must say that I have not verified this speculation [which is, perhaps, what qualifies it as a speculation]), therefore rendering the last 113 words (and increasing) completely without purpose (though I’m not precisely sure how I managed to get on the subject of the average woman’s budget in the first place; I believe it involved Mars or Neptune or Ju... wait, it was Venus, I’m almost sure of it), although, if there is an ounce of laughter (or perhaps just a pint of correct grammar) contained in the previous 182 words of this single rambling and long-winded sentence, it salvages, perhaps, a cup of meaning, despite its unneeded existence and status as an indicator of the unnecessary effort put into misspelled survey questions by yours truly (or, perchance, falsely), Neil ****** (as we previously established) Hester (231 words... wait, 234... 235... wait, numbers probably shouldn’t count in this, an– ooh, 245, 246, 247... oh, to *insert place here* with it [256!]).

40. Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
An answer that contains a sentence consisting of exactly 256 (also 16^2, 4^4) words should not be followed by any answers that actually pertain to the question in question. So states Rule 2^8.


I'll have something New Year's Day.

Take Care,

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

December, Emanuel, and Kittens

Heya folks! I apologize for my extended absence; school has been kicking my butt. Yes, it's been fun, but a bit less work would be nice. Anyhow, I finally finished writing my review of James Emanuel's Whole Grain. The review can be found here. Be sure to also check out Anthony's review and Josh's review, as both are exceptionally well-done (and likely better than mine).

On a side note, I'm delighted that the winter season has arrived; winter is, without a doubt, my favorite season (and Christmas is my favorite holiday). The music, more than anything, makes the wintry months pleasant. While I'm on the topic, I suppose a snowy poem would be appropriate, and, since I already mentioned James:



I watched him watch
His snowman falling down:
No collapse, no breaking parts,
Nothing to grapple with and hold.
Just smooth, small vanishing
And leaning in the sun.

He watched the carrot nose and finger-fashioned mouth
Turn bump and scar in whining air.
But when the sweat-dark brim of straw
And charcoal eyes
Converged on the tilted pipe,
He shoved, to end his man undone.

I watched the gathering in his face
As he kicked snowy trash,
Growled engine sounds, plowed ditches
Rugged as his will on thawing grass.
But his pity it was not: my whim collapsed, broke up,
With trampled pipe and hat,
And sudden snowball whizzing by.

By James Emanuel


Anthony also has a winter-minded post up, should you long for more art of the chilly, powdery disposition, and I previously posted Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening. Finally, as it is December, here's the December entry from last year.

One last note: Dan and Jess recently adopted two new kittens, and they (the kittens, not Dan and Jess) are both a bit under the weather right now; best of wishes to Thor and Apollo, I hope they start feeling better. That said,

Take Care,