Neil Hester

All poems © Neil Hester unless otherwritten

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Location: North Carolina, United States

Friday, July 06, 2007

The Villanette

LAEvaside: Dan contacted me to inform me that he already coined the term sonnetelle. Therefore, I have fallen back on my second name choice, villanette.

~~~~~

Jess: "Neil, you should write a villanelle."
Neil: "I've already written two, but they're bad."

*a few days later*

Well, here we are. I've always enjoyed messing with form, but I think this is probably the best formal innovation I've made as of now:

~~~

What Became of Madame Adelai and the Child

“May I, Madame Adelai?
May I play beneath the sky?”
“Yes, dear child, you may, you may.”

“I would like to go and play
Up there, where the birdies fly.
May I, Madame Adelai?”

I rather doubt that he would stray;
Who am I to draw a sigh?

“Yes, dear child, you may, you may.”

“Miss Adelai! I’ve gone too high!
Look at how the branches sway,
I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m gonna die!”

Miss Adelai could not reply,
For she had gone inside to pray.
“Miss Adelai! I’ve gone too high!”

The little boy could only cry
So loud. Miss Adelai had gone away.
“I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m gonna die!”

“May I, Madame Adelai?”
The boy is so polite and shy.
I pray all children, come what may
Will one day join You in the sky.


Who could have dreamt a sadder day?
“Miss Adelai! I’ve gone too high!”
Soon the little boy at play
And Adelai took to the sky.

“May I, Madame Adelai?”

There was nothing she could say.

~~~~~~~

There it is, the villanette. It's a good thing I have a blog, because this poem will probably never get published in a magazine due to the tone, despite the actual subject matter. Anyhow, I suppose I'll break this thing down (I'd love to see a few people try one [Anthony? Whinza? Jess?]).

~~~

the villanette- 28 lines; 6 tercets, 2 quatrains, 1 couplet

A1
b
A2

a
b
A1

a
b
A2

B1
a
B2

b
a
B1

b
a
B2

A1 (or A2/a)
b
a (or A1/A2)
b

a
B1 (or B2/b)
a
b (or B1/B2)

a/A1/A2/b/B1/B2
a/A1/A2/b/B1/B2

~~~~~~~

It starts as a regular villanelle, then switches the base lines to "b" in the 4th tercet. After the sixth tercet, it switches into two quatrains and a couplet to end like a sonnet (and with 28 lines, the length of two sonnets). Jess described the form as "whimsical"; I agree, as it was on whimsical impulse that I veered from writing a normal villanelle and did this instead.

In other news, a couple articles: "Why I Hate Poetry Magazine" from The Angry Critic, and "Let's Eliminate High School" from Joe Reese (thank you, Joe!).

Take Care,
~LAEvanesce

3 Comments:

Blogger Anthony said...

That's a pretty creative fusion of those two forms! Maybe I will try it out sometime soon...I was actually working on a new (loose) sonnet this past week.

I also liked that essay on high school. I have a fantasy where all high school students leave en mass, and teachers are given pink slips. No more summers off for them!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Very nice! That was lovely.

I wrote a bit about your art post this week, you are welcome to stop by to check it out, if you like.

I also emailed Seamus about the two lions that are being neglected, perhaps he will change owners, but one never knows.
I sincerely hope that you are able to be accepted into the pride.

Best wishes,

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

1:07 AM  
Blogger LAEvanesce said...

Thank you, Wanderlust; I would very much like to adopt a lion, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

12:39 AM  

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