Neil Hester

All poems © Neil Hester unless otherwritten

Location: North Carolina, United States

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Ditties and Whatnot

Firstly, I hope everyone had a fine Christmas (Eve); I spent happy time with family, played an angel in the Christmas pageant, took part in some music (in a CD, vocal, and violinistic sense), and had a generally good holiday. Now, where were we... ah, yes, ditties. Let's all jump off of our philosophical soapboxes for a moment and look at some lighter jazz. Included are: myself, Anonick, Ogden Nash, Edward Lear, and Lewis Carroll:



A way to say in bland and rancid artistry
A feeling; Critics flee at mere perusal of these
Maladies. "Use them not!", the arbiters exclaim,
"Those platitudes that maim your precious poetry!"
The guilty party here is you and me.

By Neil Hester


The Turtle

The turtle lives twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.

By Ogden Nash


There was an Old Lady of Prague,
Whose language was horribly vague;
When they said, 'Are these caps?'
She answered, 'Perhaps!'
That oracular Lady of Prague.

By Edward Lear


The Ant

The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?

By Ogden Nash



Oh, where, I ask you, are the Nantucketeers?
Where have they been for all these years?
Or perhaps a Clerihewian;
Where have they been?
“Over there”?

By Neil Hester


There was once a man named Experiment
Whose whole life in the lab was spent
Since he never came out
His friend Science had to shout
"You don't exist if you don't come out!"

By Anonick


"How doth the little crocodile
   Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
   On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin
   How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
   With gently smiling jaws!"

By Lewis Carroll

LAEvaside: This poem is a parody of Isaac Watts' 'Against Idleness and Mischief', a very popular moralistic poem of the 19th century. [/laevaside]


Englishical Improv

Be vigiling when you use a nonsensing word
In this poemish literature you may have heard,
Opinioning on this gibberish will vary, be wary,
For englishical improv is skillingly scary
To englishical teachers quite intentful to
Give a seriousesque teaching to me and you.

By Neil Hester


I'd say that's plenty for today. No rants, cultural points, or otherwise heavy material this time: fear not, I'll return with such things in due time. Actually, I'm running out of important th... ha! I doubt it. Anyhow, take care 'til next time,



Blogger AnoNick said...

Hehe, thanks for feauturing me ;-). Feels nice to be featured aside great poets (inculdin' you ;-) ). :D

Had fun reading those... I especially liked the little crocodile, and cliche. :)

12:57 AM  

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